The Myth of Doing It Alone

It’s the part that carries the weight—
from childhood into adulthood—
the feeling that he must do it all alone.

He grew up in an environment without emotional safety,
with control, silence, or manipulation.

The child learned to read his parents’ needs,
to care, to hold,
to become useful, to feel safe.

Maybe there was a separation,
an illness,
constant conflict or caos.
And he began to suppress what he felt
to avoid being disconnected.

Intimacy started to feel dangerous.

Punished with silence or humiliation,
he learned that feeling cost him love,
but holding others ensured belonging.

They said he was mature for his age:
the strong one,
the rock,
the one who stayed sane
while everyone else fell apart.

That’s how his independence was born.
He stopped seeking belonging.
He accepted loneliness
and the belief that there were no others like him—
who felt or thought similar.

He learned to enjoy his solitude—
because in solitude, no one can reject him.

Years later, spirituality arrived,
and solitude transformed:
“We are all one.”
“Everything is within me.”
And for first time, he experienced true intimacy—
his own Presence.

Yet he kept confusing emotional distance with freedom,
and emotional unavailability with reciprocity.

Until one day he saw it:
this was also a narrative,
an identity.
It kept him in the familiar,
in isolation.

And beneath it all, there was a fear—
the fear of real human intimacy.
The kind that doesn’t come from need,
but from Presence.
The kind that demands letting go of the strong one,
and allowing himself to be seen in his humanity.

Who are you if you no longer do it all alone?
What happens when you loosen the grip
of the one who holds, solves,
and never receives help?

This is where duality finally lands:
there’s no one else in the room…
and at the same time,
there are people
you can truly connect with—
from wholeness,
emotionally available.

It hurts to recognize this while you’re in it.
Because for years, your radar was tuned to the “no’s,”
instead of the “yes’s.”

When you tear down your walls,
and your heart is available
for new ways of relating— Life responds.
People appear—
a friendship,
a relationship,
a collaboration.

And then the choice arrives:
To receive —and explore this new possibility.
or to sabotage —to close off
and push away what your soul already asked for.

Until you finally realize:
doing it all alone was a form of control— a mask
It was the fear of being loved
disguised as freedom.

Here begins your availability for true, embodied relational intimacy.

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Ready to drop the mask and live your Truth?
I invite you to step into my PRIVATE MENTORSHIP.